


One Already Dead

by hanorganaas



Series: The Lost Mockingjay [5]
Category: Hunger Games (2012), Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Character Study, Community: dailyfics, Death of a Canon Character, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Off-screen Character Death, POV Second Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-07
Updated: 2013-02-07
Packaged: 2017-11-28 11:29:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/673887
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hanorganaas/pseuds/hanorganaas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You don't even know if you are alive anymore.</p>
            </blockquote>





	One Already Dead

**Author's Note:**

> Takes place in a universe where Katniss' name was called instead her sister's during the 74th Hunger Games.
> 
> Title shamelessly ripped from Les Miserables

_Just as well they never see_  
The hate that's in your head  
Don't they know they're making love  
To one already dead! 

~ Les Miserables-Lovely Ladies

You sit in the Hovercraft with your body shaking, your face as white as a ghost as they furiously begin to tend to your wounds. Any other tribute would be thrilled to take your spot. A small part of you is glad you are going home to your sister and your mother. But mostly...you wish you were dead.

And the thought is cemented when at the corner of your eye you watch as the wheel the dead corpse of your District parter, your long time best friend and hunting buddy and the man you loved so fiercely away.

\------------

You have to hide your pain behind a mask. At the beginning it's easy...you avoid watching the three hour clip by day dreaming and then start answering questions by smiling and waving. You almost think you can get away with it.

Until Caesar Flickerman the blue haired bastard asks you a question that makes you mask fall to the floor and shatter into 5 million little pieces.

"Your District Partner Gale Hawthrone sacrificed his life to save you? Tell me are you grateful for it?"

You respond by ripping off the crown President Snow placed on your head three hours ago and throwing it at Flickerman causing gasps from the audience. You don't apologize you just storm off the stage with tears of anger and rage spilling down your cheeks.

\-----------

The Victory Ball is no worse than the interview. Everyone crowds around you like you are some freakshow attraction even the victors you thought would be sympathetic to your situation. They want to poke and prod at you tell you, you are now one of them.

You don't register their names or what you say to them. You'll look back at this later and realize you have said something foolish.

But the guilt of losing Gale makes you just too numb to care. You don't even know if you are alive anymore.

\--------

You still don't feel anything when you step off the train and onto the soil of District 12. You have never been so glad to be home even if there was a hero's welcome. You have always being in the spotlight but considering you are the first District 12 victor in 24 years you just have to deal.

You see your sister push through the crowd. She tries to reach jump onto the platform but is too small to reach. Suddenly she gets a boost and runs up to hug you. For a fleeting moment you think it's Gale but you see that the boy who helped her was Peeta Mellark. 

You sigh in sadness but put on your mask again. There is no use in breaking again in front of the cameras.

\-----------

"I want to see him," You say to the peacekeepers handling the transport of Gale's body.

"We have strict orders to take him to the Justice Building so he can be claimed by his family," the tall one says.

"I don't care," You respond firmly, "I WANT to see him and I am not leaving until I do."

The peacekeeper sighs and pulls off the lid of the wooden box.

"You have five minutes," he says before walking off.

You never thought this would happen. Instead of being alone in a peaceful warm meadow you are both stuck in the back of a cold cargo hold of a train. You almost don't want to do it. But you have to.

You rest your hands on the edges of the wooden box, tears welling up in your eyes begin to cloud your vision. As he lies in his eternal slumber he looks like he hasn't even been battered by the games at all. He wears the suit he wore for the interview. You remember how handsome he looked that night. All the cuts including the long self inflicted slash across his throat.

You touch his cheek it is ice cold. You hate him so much for doing this to you, making you walk around feeling guilty for what he did to save you. But deep in your heart you know he was dead the moment both your names were pulled from that glass bowl. There was no way he was going to let you die.

You give him one last kiss on his cold dead lips.

"Good bye Gale."

\---------

As walk to your new home in the victors village you are stopped by Peeta Mellark. He doesn't look at you strangely instead he looks at you with kind and caring eyes not like some superhuman freak. You are thankful for that.

"Hey," he says to you, "I know congratulations is the last thing you to hear. So I won't I think you need this."

He pulls you into a hug. At first you don't know what to do. You just stand there as if your arms are bound at your sides. You know it's a bad idea to love someone under 18 now more than ever. But he cradles your head against his chest.

His heartbeat is soothing and his chest feels...warm. You can't run you want to stay.

Suddenly the fog clears from your mind and you realize your arms are wrapped around him as well.

Tears fall down your eyes...finally you feel again.

You're alive.


End file.
